Flu Season
by SharanMcQuack
Summary: Mr. McDuck and Launchpad investigate some robberies that are taking advantage of a flu outbreak. Based loosely on Bad Medicine, the DW story in Disney's Afternoon #6 1995.


Flu Season  
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.  
Based loosely on the DW story in Disney's Afternoon #6.

Psst! Christine Vitale over on the Group Harmony Alley (89.1 FM, WFDU, Teaneak NJ) Do you know about the CD "Dedicated"- a salute to the 5 Royales"?

One cold November's day, Mr. McDuck was stubbornly trying to do his usual work despite the fact (which he refused to even consider, never mind admit) he had caught the flu. Never mind lots of people in Duckburg had caught the same flu.

Never mind that Mr. McDuck was contagious or that LOTS of people work for Mr. McDuck and that he comes in contact with a lot more people. Mr. McDuck unknowingly spread his flu to other people and then THEY spread it to more people.

Soon Duckburg was having trouble getting any work done, so many people were home in bed with the flu. And more should have been, but were stubbornly trying to work...but somehow couldn't work very well. Too busy sneezing, sniffling and they had trouble thinking straight.

Naturally, it did not take long before at least one healthy crook was taking advantage of this to rob banks and businesses. So many people were home sick (including cops and security guards) or operating sub par that it made it easy to rob folks. Most of the victims were places were owned by Mr. McDuck- or Flintheart Glomgold.

One day the crook had struck at a bank owned by Mr. McDuck. The bank had been robbed very late at night, just before closing time. The security cameras at the bank showed a "man" (talking dog) dressed like a doctor. He was wearing a surgeon's face mask and cap. You couldn't see his face nor his hair. He had worn surgeon's plastic gloves and had not left fingerprints.

Once the cops had finished checking for clues, Mr. McDuck came to play detective. Launchpad flew him there in a copter because Mr. McDuck was in a hurry. Mr. McDuck thought if he got there fast enough, he might find a clue that could lead him to the crooks before they got away.

Launchpad wandered over to where there was normally free coffee and donuts for customers, only to find the crook had taken all the donuts. Disappointed, Launchpad noticed the garbage can next to freebies was not quite empty as he had first thought.

"Hey, Mr. McDee- did the cops see this?" Launchpad asked.

"See WHAT Launchpad, an empty trash can? The janitor emptied that can and put in a fresh bag just before the robbery" Mr. McDuck snorted.

"But it ISN"T quite empty" Launchpad said, picking up the can and shaking it until two tiny clear plastic wrappers fell out of it. "It had these candy wrappers in it. Lollipop wrappers."

"Let ME see that' Mr. McDuck snapped, grabbing the wrapper away. Mr. McDuck peered at them closely. "Sweetsugarless candy co." Mr. McDuck read.

"They make those sugarless lollipop doctors and dentists give out." Launchpad said.

"And FLINTHEART GLOMGOLD owns it! Which means I can't ASK them what there connection to this robbery is Flintheart won't tell ME And he's probably behide these robberies"

"But a lot of Flintheart's businesses have been robbed lately, too" Launchpad made the mistake of pointing out.

"Bah! Probably fake robberies to make him look clean and to collect insurance" Mr. McDuck scoffed.

So Mr. McDuck decided to sneak into the Sweetsugarless candy factory and snoop around. Launchpad somehow figured Mr. McDee might do that and quietly followed. Just in case.

Mr. McDuck snooped around, looking for anything that looked suspicious. Launchpad followed, "borrowing" a security guard's jacket off of a chair it was hanging in back of.

That way, anybody who saw Launchpad thought he was a security guard. They also thought that the "security guard" was keeping an eye on Mr. McDuck- who they somehow, being Duckburgians, recognized.

Then, Mr. McDuck climbed up onto a catwalk and was seen by a real security guard who recognized Mr. McDuck. Since security was a crook (he works for Flintheart Glomgold, what did you expect?), he was going to push Mr. McDuck into a vat of bubbling hot candy.

Launchpad tried to pull a bluff: "It's OK, he's supposed to be here He's thinking of buying this place" Launchpad shouted.

"Since when do YOU work here? I know all the other security guards who work here and you ain't one of them." real security guard replied.

"LAUNCHPAD!" Mr. McDuck yelled.

Mr. McDuck didn't realize the guard had intended to push him, Mr. McDuck, into the vat of searing hot candy.

"What's going on here?!" Flintheart demanded, coming out of an office.

"A couple of trespassers, boss. Mr. McDuck and some muscle head dressed in a security guard's jacket that's too small for him." Security Guard reported.

"What are you two doing here?" Flintheart asked.

"My bank was robbed. I found two candy wrappers from this factory..." Mr. McDuck began.

"HE found candy wrappers from this factory..." muttered Launchpad under his breath.

"This factory was robbed last night. Probably just before your bank, probably by the same clown." Flintheart stated.

"Why would somebody rob a candy factory?" Mr. McDuck inquired.

"Because I kept money here. A lot of banks have been robbed over the last few days. I kept a lot of money here BECAUSE there is normally nothing worth stealing in a candy factory." Flintheart claimed.

Mr. McDuck strongly suspected the money had been stolen and was being hidden in the factory until it could be "laundered". But IF Flintheart was telling the Truth and his candy factory had been robbed, it didn't matter to Mr. McDuck if the money was clean or dirty.

"Why don't you two work together? It seemed to me you have a mutual enemy in this clown who has been robbing BOTH of you. Why don't you call a truce and fight him TOGETHER?" Launchpad made the HUGE mistake of suggesting.

The two rivals stared at Launchpad as if he had suggested that they marry each other. Mr. McDuck stormed out of the factory without another word (the security guard saw to it that both Mr. McDuck and Launchpad left) and Flintheart went back into his office, muttering bad words under his breath.

The next day, Mr. McDuck woke up feeling so lousy he actually WENT TO THE DOCTOR. Launchpad drove him there because Duckworth was down with the flu.

The doctor proceeded to scold Mr. McDuck for not getting a flu shot at his advanced age. And there wasn't that much the doctor could do AFTER Mr. McDuck had caught the flu.

Mr. McDuck got angry at a perceived waste of money and went off on one of his temper tantrums. Launchpad, who had been waiting for Mr. McDuck in the waiting room, TRIED to calm him down.

This only got Mr. McDuck angrier. Looking for the exit, he grabbed the wrong door, a locked janitor's closet and pulled at the door violently. The fact that the door didn't open only made his pull harder.

Mr. McDuck very seldom gets sick, he's not used to it. Mr. McDuck was racked with body aches, he couldn't think straight, he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night...all this was making him crankier than usual, which is saying something. (I should talk.)

"Boss, that's NOT the exit door, it's some sort of broom closet" Launchpad said.

Launchpad grabbed the door handle trying to pacify Mr. McDuck. Mr. McDuck kept pulling at the door. Mr. McDuck was too angry and frustrated to listen.

"It's locked See?" Launchpad said and he pulled at the door, too.

It was a cheap door and a cheap lock and sometimes my Launchpad doesn't know his own strength and Mr. McDuck is no slouch in the strength department, neither. They pulled the door open.

Full vacuum cleaner bags fell out of the closet. Before you could say "Who saves full vacuum bags?", two of the bags broke open revealing lots and lots of MONEY.

Naturally, the cops were called. And they questioned the janitor who worked for the doctor's office. Only Janitor had keys to that closet, his fingerprints were on the money, (1) there were doctor's scrubs, plastic gloves and doctor's face masks in the closet that did NOT belong in that closet.

Later, the cops discovered Janitor's fingerprints were on one of those clear plastic Lollipop wrappers Launchpad had found at the site of the last bank robbery.

Faced with all this evidence against him, the Janitor finally confessed in order to be able to get a lesser sentence. He hated being a janitor and was jealous of the doctors.

Janitor saw how many people got sick when a simple flu shot might have prevented it, he decided to take advantage of their stupidity and his good health.

Janitor robbed banks and businesses in areas where the cops and security guards were seriously down in number due to the flu. Janitor hid the money in vacuum cleaner bags, cutting the empty bag open with a scissors, putting the money in the bag and gluing the bag so it looked normal. Who was going to investigate a full vacuum cleaner bag? And then he locked the bags in a closet only he had the keys to.

Janitor had the habit of swiping sugarless lollies (2) (which he ate two at a time, two different flavors) and donuts.

The End.

(1) Janitor took gloves off in order to count the money.  
(2) Janitor didn't bother wearing gloves when stealing the lollies.


End file.
